The Legally obtainable Illegal Drugs Section. We are very pleased to announce that Rational Alchemy has made an outstanding advance in this New Age Science. While lying in bed one Sunday morning, doing we are not sure as its totally un-documented but we are hoping to get the video that we will sell in our Adults Only Store, Brian had a vision on how to make a Pure Energy Transference Machine. To shorten this article this will be known as the PET-M. What is remarkable about PET-M is that it can automatically produce a homeopathic (like) substance (see note 1) (usually water based) that will totally hit the spot. And in this New Age time of ours with DEA cracking down on all illegal drugs we decided that we could no longer keep this great invention / discovery to ourselves. Trust Us, my gullible readers, it totally works. Honest! We have had this independently tested by a leading pharmacy located in a tent somewhere close to the biggest statue on Easter Island. Sadly Easter Island does not yet have the ability to communicate with outside world using the Internet or Cell Phones or even a couple of old cans connected by a piece of string, so please, have faith, believe in placebo, it totally works! How it works. PET-M looks suspiciously like a cardboard box with words Pure Energy Transference Machine written in a sharpie pen on its side, but wait, there’s more. The top has a hole cut in it so we can place up to 50 bottles for batch processing. We have considered using a much larger cardboard box but we like to keep things very personalized, so you, our customers know, that we have worked individually on the product you will soon be trying (very hard) to get wasted on. After the bottles (containing pure Colorado Mountain spring run-off water, that we obtain from a tap in Brians bathroom, cause its the only tap that the bottle will fit under) are placed in the container, we all get our rubber chickens and hold them over the box chanting the words, "Come to me, Come to me, OHHH crack cocaine, feel the power of our energy, feel the power of our quantum goddess" (of course, whatever other illegal substance we wish to homopathically (like) produce we just use its name) and waving the rubber chickens in unison we fall into a trance like state where our past lives flash before our eyes. (Editors note. Its not unlike the opening titles used on the documentary Dr. Who, with the neat little deduddle dum, deduddle dum, deduddle dum , deee daaa daaa da. theme song that's been around since the early 60s). This is where the Energy Transference comes into play. We have scientifically discovered that providing we are close to the dorms of Colorado University (where on any given night all illegal substances can or could be obtained) then the Nearly Dark Energy Transference (known as N-DET) will release the energy of the active substance we are interested in and fusses this with the water molecules at a sub-molecular level in our PET-M box.. A pure use of quantum physics without the need to build a blasted great big particle accelerator that might produce the big bang on earth. Thank goodness it's in Switzerland and France and pretty darn close to Belgium! Bingo. We have just made a batch of homeopathic (like) crack cocaine! But what makes this illegal substance legal? Like a traditionally produced homeopathic substance we guarantee that our homeopathic (like) product is indistinguishable from pure water, sugar or alcohol and there is not a scientific instrument that will ever be able to distinguish or discover anything other than pure water, sugar or alcohol. If there's little black things floating in the homeopathic (like) water please do not panic, this only means that we didn't clean the bottles as well as we should because the dishwasher is on the blink again. This is pure organic and probably mold of some questionable kind. Nothing to worry about at all, as stated, it's organic. Best Mixes. LSD - Sugar (lump) Hashish - Peppermint patty (experimental) Marijuana - grass cuttings or tea leaves (experimental) Cocaine - Icing Sugar Crack Cocaine - Water (flavored water available on request) Ecstasy (MDMA) - alcohol (vodka based) Opium - Water (flavored water available on request) Crystal Meth - alcohol (tequila based) Heroin - alcohol (white lightening based) Morphine - Out of Stock Available on request. Ambien, Codeine, Darvocet, Demerol, Dexedrine, Dilaudid, Hydrocodone, Lortab, Methadone, Oxycontin, Percocet, Ritalin, Ultram, Vicodin and Xanax Please note. Because of the laws governing sending alcohol over state lines all our alcohol based products will be shipped as homeopathic (like) pure water (from the tap) for your instant and legal enjoyment. It aren't t refreshing; it aren't Rational Alchemy. Note 1 : Homeopathy (also homopathy or homoeopathy; from the Greek moios, "similar" + p¡thos, "suffering" or "disease" is a form of alternative medicine first defined by Samuel Hahnemann in the 18th century. Homeopathic practitioners contend that an ill person can be treated using a substance that can produce, in a healthy person, symptoms similar to those of the illness. According to homeopaths, serial dilution, with shaking between each dilution, removes the toxic effects of the remedy while the qualities of the substance are retained by the diluent water, sugar, or alcohol.. The end product is often so diluted that it is indistinguishable from pure water, sugar or alcohol. And never forget that Evian is Naive backwards. |
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